Coping With Missing Your Spouse During Your Divorce

2023 Update: Florida eliminated permanent alimony and established a 50/50 custody presumption effective July 1, 2023 (SB 1416 / Ch. 2023-301). These reforms changed how courts handle property division, support, and parenting plans in every Florida divorce..

Dealing With Divorce While Missing Your Spouse

Divorce isn’t just about paperwork; it’s about powerful emotions, too. Even if you know it was the right choice, you might still miss your spouse. That’s normal. You spent a lot of time with them, and now things have changed.

But just because you miss them doesn’t mean you should still be together. It just means you’re human.

As you are processing your transition, keep these things in mind:

1. Feeling sad is natural

2. Don’t let your emotions drive decisions

3. Spend more time with loved ones

4. Establish routines

5. This feeling will not last forever

6. Missing them should not incline you to go back

1. It’s Okay to Feel Sad

   Divorce means losing something important. Even if your marriage wasn’t perfect, there were probably good times too. You might miss small things, like eating dinner together, sending text messages of funny memes, or just knowing they were there.

   Perhaps you might reach for your phone to tell them something, then remember you can’t. That can hurt, and it’s okay to feel sad. It doesn’t mean you have made a mistake; it just means they were a big part of your life.

   • Write about your feelings in a notebook; even just a few sentences can help.
   • Talk to a friend or family member instead of keeping everything inside.
   • Let yourself cry if you need to. Feelings don’t go away if you ignore them.

   

2. Don’t Let Feelings Make Your Decisions

   When you miss someone, it’s easy to make choices based on emotions instead of logic.

   But making big decisions just because you feel lonely isn’t a good idea. Think about what’s best for you in the long run.

   • Before making a big decision, ask yourself: Am I doing this because it’s fair or because I miss them?
   • If you are unsure, take a few days to think things through before saying yes.
   • Get advice from your divorce lawyer or someone you trust before making big choices.

3. Spend Time With People Who Care About You

   You don’t have to go through this alone.

   If you are used to spending weekends with your spouse, that time might feel empty right now. Instead of sitting alone and feeling sorry for yourself, plan an activity with a friend or family member. [1]

   • Make a list of people you can talk to when you feel sad.
   • Join a support group for people going through the divorce process. Personal growth can happen as you talk to others who understand.
   • Say yes when friends invite you out, even if you don’t feel like it.

4. Make New Routines

   When you’re used to doing things with your spouse, it can feel weird doing them alone. Maybe you always had coffee together in the morning, or maybe they were the person you watched TV with at night. When those habits are gone, life can feel empty.

   What is the best way to handle this? Make new habits!

   For example, if you always went out for Saturday dinner together, start a new tradition, like ordering a different kind of takeout every week or having a movie night with friends.

   • Rearrange your space! Move your furniture or add something new to make it feel fresh.
   • Start a new hobby, like reading, painting, or even just trying new recipes.
   • Make plans to do something fun every week, so you have things to look forward to.

5. This Feeling Won’t Last Forever

   Right now, missing your spouse might feel like it will never go away. But over time, feelings change.

   • Remember something tough you’ve been through before. You got through that, and you’ll get through this.
   • Keep a journal and write down something good that happens every day, even small things. Over time, you’ll see progress and your emotional well-being will improve.
   • Be patient with yourself. Healing isn’t fast, but it does happen.

   

6. Missing Your Spouse After Divorce Does Not Mean You Should Be Together

   A lot of people think, If I miss them, maybe I should go back. But missing someone doesn’t mean the relationship was good for you. It just means that it was important.

   For example, imagine you moved away from your childhood home. You might miss it, your old room, your favorite tree outside, but that doesn’t mean you should move back. It just means it was a big part of your life. The same thing happens with relationships.

   • Write a list of reasons why the divorce happened and read it when you feel unsure.
   • Remind yourself: Missing someone doesn’t mean I need them back.
   • Focus on what’s next instead of what’s gone. Even small new things matter.

Moving On

Divorce is tough, and it’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling. But one day, you’ll wake up and realize you don’t miss them as much. Then a little less the next day. And one day, you’ll feel okay again.

Take care of yourself. Spend time with people who make you happy. And remember, even when it doesn’t feel like it yet, you will be okay.

If you need help with legal advice during your divorce process, contact The Law Offices of Sacks & Sacks, PA for a free consultation today.

FAQs

Related Pages

• Divorce
• Mediation
• Spousal Support & Alimony
• Child Custody

Source:

Pilossoph, J. (2025, May 1). I miss my ex so much! 9 things you can do. Divorce Blog | Divorce Support Blogs. https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/i-miss-my-ex-so-much-9-things-you-can-do/