Are you recently divorced and seeking guidance on how to co-parent with your ex? Here are some tips for you.
Roughly 23% of children in the country live in a home with just one of their parents, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. [1]
Keep Communication Open
Effective and consistent communication between divorced parents can contribute to a more stable and harmonious upbringing for their children.
Co-parenting requires ongoing collaboration and cooperation, necessitating frequent communication channels. It is important to establish a system that works best for both parents, whether it be through phone calls, text messages, emails, or the use of co-parenting apps.
By maintaining open lines of communication, parents can address concerns, share important information, discuss scheduling matters, and ensure that both parents are up to date on their child’s well-being.
A key aspect of keeping communication open is maintaining a respectful and courteous tone. Regardless of past disagreements or conflicts, it is vital for co-parents to approach all discussions with a focus on the best interests of their child. By remaining respectful and calm, parents can foster an environment where open dialogue is possible, allowing for effective problem-solving and decision-making.
There is some research that suggests that children will adjust to divorce within 2 years of it occurring. [2]
Respect Each Other – No Bad-Mouthing Other Parent
Divorce can bring about a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and sadness. Children are highly susceptible to these emotions and can be deeply impacted by negative comments about their other parent. Avoiding bad-mouthing the other parent not only protects the child’s well-being but also promotes a healthy co-parenting environment.
By speaking positively about the other parent, co-parents can encourage the child to maintain a healthy bond with each of them. This allows the child to feel secure, loved, and supported by both parents, even in the midst of their divorce.
In Jacksonville, Florida, there are resources available, such as family court services and family law departments, that can provide guidance and assistance. These professionals can help co-parents navigate their emotions and develop effective strategies for respectful communication.
Keep a Schedule, But Be Flexible When Needed
Having a consistent schedule for visitation, pick-ups, and drop-offs can help children feel secure and establish a sense of routine. This can minimize stress and anxiety for both co-parents and children alike. When creating a schedule, consider the child’s age, school responsibilities, extracurricular activities, and any other commitments.
However, life is unpredictable, and unexpected events can occur that may require adjustments to the schedule. Whether it’s a last-minute work trip, a family emergency, or a change in the child’s schedule, being flexible can prevent unnecessary conflict and tension.
Being flexible does not mean sacrificing your own needs or compromising your well-being. Establish clear expectations and boundaries about what is reasonable and achievable. This can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure that both co-parents feel respected and valued.
Set Hurt and Anger Aside for the Child/Children
Emotions should not be projected onto the child/children. Children are sensitive beings who can easily pick up on tension and conflict, and it can greatly impact their emotional and psychological well-being.
Putting the child/children first means rising above personal grievances and focusing on what is best for them. This may require co-parents to work through their emotions and seek support from therapists, support groups, or family mediation services in Jacksonville. By addressing their emotional needs, co-parents can better ensure a healthy and nurturing environment for the child/children.
Forty percent of families in the U.S. are blended, with at least one partner having a child from a previous relationship before marriage. [3]
Disagree in Private
Disagreements should not be aired in front of the child/children, as this can cause confusion and emotional distress. Instead, finding the right time and place to discuss differences of opinion can help maintain a harmonious co-parenting relationship.
One approach to handling disagreements in private is to schedule regular meetings or check-ins with the other co-parent. This provides an opportunity for both parties to express their concerns and discuss any issues they may be facing. By setting aside dedicated time to address concerns, co-parents can avoid spontaneous arguments and heated discussions that can negatively impact the child/children’s well-being.
Approach these discussions with an open mind and a commitment to finding common ground. Active listening and empathy play important roles in understanding the co-parent’s perspective. By acknowledging and validating each other’s feelings, co-parents can foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
In situations where emotions run high, and conflicts seem difficult to resolve, seeking the assistance of a family mediator or therapist can be immensely helpful. These professionals can provide guidance and support in facilitating productive conversations, defusing tension, and finding solutions that benefit both the child/children and the co-parents themselves.
Set Up a Shared Family Calendar
A shared family calendar serves as a central hub where both parents can input important dates, events, and activities related to the children. This can include school schedules, extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments, visitation schedules, and even holidays.
By having a comprehensive view of everyone’s commitments and responsibilities, co-parents can avoid potential scheduling conflicts and ensure that the children’s needs are met without any undue stress.
Using a shared calendar not only helps with scheduling logistics but also promotes effective communication between co-parents. It allows both parties to have visibility into each other’s plans and ensures that decisions are made collaboratively.
This can be particularly helpful when it comes to coordinating visitation schedules or planning special events or vacations involving the children. By sharing timely information and making joint decisions, co-parents can create a cohesive and stable environment for their children to thrive in.
When children can see their schedules laid out in a visually appealing and easy-to-understand manner, it can help them feel more secure and confident in their routines. It also teaches them responsibility and accountability as they become involved in managing their own commitments and keeping track of important dates and events.
Children who spend at least 35 percent time with each parent, rather than live with one and visit the other, have better relationships with their fathers and mothers and do better academically, socially, and psychologically. [4]
Stay on the Same Page
One of the biggest challenges faced by co-parents after a divorce is staying on the same page. Effective co-parenting requires open communication, cooperation, and a shared understanding of the children’s needs and well-being. By staying on the same page, co-parents can ensure that they are working together to provide a stable and nurturing environment for their children.
Find a Support Network
A support network can be comprised of a variety of individuals or groups who understand and empathize with the unique experiences of co-parenting. This network can include family members, friends, therapists, or even support groups specifically designed for divorced or separated parents.
Family members and close friends can provide emotional support and a listening ear during difficult times. They can offer advice and perspective based on their own experiences, which can be helpful in navigating the ups and downs of co-parenting.
Therapists or counselors can also play a crucial role in the co-parenting journey. They can provide a safe space for parents to express their feelings, learn effective communication strategies, and develop coping mechanisms to navigate challenges.
Support groups specifically for divorced or separated parents can be an invaluable resource. These groups offer a community of individuals who are going through similar experiences and can share stories, insights, and advice. Group members can offer empathetic listening, provide practical tips, and share resources that have been helpful in their own co-parenting journeys.
In Jacksonville, there are various organizations and online communities that offer support for divorced or separated parents. These groups may focus on different aspects of co-parenting, such as managing conflict, creating effective parenting plans, or dealing with the emotional aspects of divorce. Finding a support group that aligns with your specific needs and interests can be incredibly beneficial.
Are You Struggling With Co-parenting After Your Divorce in Jacksonville, Florida?
Sacks & Sacks is a reputable divorce law firm in Jacksonville, Florida, dedicated to assisting individuals in overcoming the challenges of co-parenting after divorce.
Contact Sacks & Sacks today to schedule a consultation and start your journey toward successful co-parenting in Jacksonville, Florida.
Sources
[1] 6 Signs of Healthy Co-parenting. (2021, October 21). 6 Signs of Healthy Co-parenting. https://dadsrc.org/6-signs-of-healthy-co-parenting/
[2] What Research Tells Us About the Effect of Divorce on Children. (2022, February 20). Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/children-of-divorce-in-america-statistics-1270390
[3] M.Ed., K. M., & More, R. (2021, August 5). Blended Family Statistics: A Deeper Look Into the Structure | LoveToKnow. LoveToKnow. https://www.lovetoknow.com/parenting/parenthood/blended-family-statistics
[4] Warshak, R. A. (2017, May 26). After divorce, shared parenting is best for children’s health and development. STAT. https://www.statnews.com/2017/05/26/divorce-shared-parenting-children-health/
