Divorce and Menopause
Menopause is a time that is associated with hot flashes, mood swings, and a number of physical discomforts. It is a time of transformation that affects not only a woman’s body but also her relationships. Many women choose to get divorced in midlife, around the time when menopause hits. Some reassess their lives and marriages and embark on a journey from hot flashes to heartbreak.
Physical Impacts of Menopause
Menopause creates a hormonal shift that affects both body and mind. Two important female hormones are estrogen and progesterone. During menopause, their levels drastically drop. This change triggers physical and emotional symptoms. Common physical symptoms include hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, and joint pain.
Hormonal changes also affect the brain by affecting the neurotransmitters that regulate mood, like serotonin and dopamine. Consequently, women may feel heightened anxiety, irritability, or depression. This often leads to frustration and stress in general and in their marriages in particular. [1]
Women may experience a sense of loss of control over their own bodies. Dealing with this change affects their sense of self-worth. They begin to question their attractiveness, desirability, and vitality. They may shy away from being intimate, which leads to a breakdown of marriage.
Emotional Impacts of Menopause
Menopause marks a potential mid-life crisis in which women reexamine their lives and reassess priorities. Studies have shown that menopause can increase feelings of sadness and irritability. [2]
For a woman who is dealing with life stresses associated with midlife, like career transitions, aging parents, or children leaving home, the hormonal changes associated with menopause can make coping even harder. They might experience an increase in anxiety, depression, and anger.
When these emotions are directed toward long-term partners, it creates emotional distance in relationships. Women usually find that their partners do not understand the gravity of the changes they face and cannot provide the necessary support.
Impact of Menopause on Marriage and Relationships
The impact of menopause on marriage is often underestimated. Physical discomforts like hot flashes, joint pain, or vaginal dryness can make intimacy challenging. In addition, emotional changes may lead to sadness and misunderstandings. Menopause brings significant changes in libido, reducing the desire for intimacy. If this is not openly discussed, the relationship can be strained.
Women can feel isolated in their marriages when men struggle to understand the intensity of menopausal symptoms. Partners may feel disconnected or unwanted if clear communication is not maintained. The lack of intimacy and increased tension can prompt couples to reconsider the relationship.
Couples who successfully navigate this period have open communication and a willingness to support each other’s needs. Therapy is recommended for couples experiencing strain during menopause. It provides a space to express feelings and understand each other’s experiences. By recognizing menopause as a phase that requires mutual understanding, couples may find a way to reconnect rather than drift apart.
Societal Pressures and Personal Identity
Society places a huge pressure on women to maintain a youthful, energetic appearance. When a youthful appearance slips away, it contributes to anxiety. Women are told that aging should be concealed or avoided. They go to great lengths to stay youthful.
Many women feel ashamed of their menopausal symptoms and the natural process of aging. These societal expectations cultivate insecurities and make women feel as though they are somehow “less than” who they used to be. This has an impact on self-worth and their sense of identity.
Many people spend many years of their lives focusing on family and careers. During menopause, they find a renewed focus on self-discovery and personal fulfillment. Many feel a pull toward independence and may be driven to explore new interests, set personal goals, or establish new friendships.
While these changes are empowering, they may conflict with a marriage’s stability and routine. For some, menopause becomes a time to reflect on whether their marriage still aligns with their values and desires for the future.
Divorce Trends and Statistics
Menopause is a driving factor of divorce. Statistics show that divorce rates among individuals over 50 have nearly doubled in the past two decades. [3] They use the term “gray divorce” for it. Hormonal changes, emotional shifts, and a desire for personal growth all play a role, leading many to re-evaluate their partnerships during this life stage.
For some women, menopause marks a realization that they want to pursue their own path, especially if they feel unfulfilled or unsupported within their marriage.
Women do not end their marriages merely as a reaction to hormonal changes. It is often part of a broader search for authenticity and alignment with one’s goals. Many women feel empowered to make changes after years of prioritizing others’ needs over their own. This drive for personal growth and independence can be a catalyst for divorce, especially if they feel their marriage no longer supports their well-being.
Finding Resilience and Redefining Life Post-Divorce
For women who go through a divorce during or after menopause, this period can be an opportunity for reinvention. While the transition may be difficult, many find resilience through building a strong support system, seeking therapy, and setting new goals.
The decision to end a marriage should be a well-thought-out decision, especially if it comes in midlife. If you and your partner have decided to part ways and you are looking for legal advice, contact Sacks & Sacks divorce attorneys today.
FAQs:
Q. What is the connection between menopause and divorce?
Menopause brings emotional and physical changes that lead some women to re-evaluate their lives and relationships. Sometimes, this can result in a divorce.
Q. How does menopause impact a woman’s body and mind?
Menopause causes a drop in female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone. This can cause hot flashes, mood swings, as well as anxiety and depression.
Q. Why might women feel isolated in their marriages during menopause?
Many women feel their partners do not fully understand the intensity of menopausal symptoms, which can lead to emotional distance.
Q. What is meant by the term “gray divorce,” and how is it related to menopause?
Gray divorce refers to divorce among those over 50. The number of those seeking a gray divorce has increased recently, and menopause-induced changes can be a contributing factor.
Sources:
[1] What Is Menopause? (2024, October 16). National Institute on Aging. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/what-menopause
[2] Can Menopause Cause Depression? (2024, June 20). Johns Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/can-menopause-cause-depression
[3] Huff, C. (n.d.). More couples are divorcing after age 50 than ever before. Psychologists are helping them navigate the big changes. https://www.apa.org