Around 10% of custody cases are decided through mediation. Only 4% of custody cases actually go to trial. [1]
Prepare for Child Custody Mediation
Are you going through mediation for your child custody case? Here are some guidelines on preparing for your case.
1. Have Your Court Documents and Be On Time
2. Bring Your Proposed Parenting Plan
3. Be Prepared with Your Calendar and Your Childs Calendar
5. Don’t Discuss Marital Issues
6. Get Plenty of Sleep the Night Before
7. Ask Your Attorney for Help Preparing for Mediation
1. Bring Court Documents and Don’t Be Late
Court documents may include medical records, school reports, or any other pertinent information that sheds light on the child’s current situation and well-being. These documents serve as evidence, providing important information about the child’s best interests, parental capabilities, and other relevant details that can influence custody decisions.
Having these documents readily available during mediation will not only help the parents present their case more confidently but also allow for a more informed discussion.
By providing tangible evidence to support their claims, parents can strengthen their position and increase the likelihood of reaching an agreement that suits the child’s needs.
Mediation sessions have specific timelines, and delays can hinder the progress of the process. Familiarize yourself with the timeline established by the court and adhere to it strictly.
2. Remember Your Proposed Parenting Plan
When approaching mediation for child custody, it is beneficial to bring a proposed parenting plan to the table. This plan should outline the suggested arrangements regarding child custody, visitation schedules, holidays, decision-making authority, and any other relevant aspects. This proposal serves as a starting point for discussion and provides a foundation for the parents to build upon. [2]
Bringing a proposed parenting plan to mediation demonstrates a commitment to finding a resolution that prioritizes the children’s well-being. It also shows readiness to participate actively in the mediation process and work towards a mutually agreeable solution.
The child’s age, their relationship with each parent, and their overall needs should form the basis for decision-making. Factors such as school schedules, extracurricular activities, and geographical distance should also be taken into account.
3. Have Your Calendar and Your Childs Calendar Prepared
For parents, having a calendar outlining your availability, work schedule, and any important commitments will be helpful to the process. This will help demonstrate both willingness and ability to be present and actively involved in your child’s life. Create a schedule that includes your work hours, parenting time you currently have, and any future commitments or planned events that might affect your parenting schedule.
Your calendar should also include relevant contact information, such as your employer’s name and contact details, as well as emergency contacts. This information will provide the mediator with a comprehensive picture of your responsibilities and availability.
Having a calendar for your child is equally important. Ensure that it includes their school schedule, extracurricular activities, and any other events that might impact their availability. Having this information readily available will show your commitment to prioritizing your child’s needs and involvement in their daily routines.
By being prepared with two separate calendars, you can clearly demonstrate your readiness to co-parent and maintain a stable and consistent routine for your child. This level of organization and dedication will not go unnoticed during your mediation process.
4. Remain Open-Minded.
Keeping an open mind during child custody mediation means being willing to listen and consider the other parent’s perspective, even if it may differ from your own. It is natural for individuals to become defensive and hold on tightly to their own beliefs and desires, especially when it comes to their children. This approach will only hinder progress and make it difficult to find common ground.
Mediation provides a neutral and safe space for parents to discuss their concerns and desires regarding custody arrangements. It is an opportunity to brainstorm potential solutions and work towards a compromise that benefits the best interests of the children involved. To make the most of this opportunity, put personal feelings aside and focus on the needs of the children.
Actively listen to the other parent’s thoughts and concerns. This means being present, paying attention, and genuinely trying to understand their point of view. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their ideas, as this will only escalate tensions and hinder progress.
5. Leave Marital Issues Out of the Mediation
One of the primary reasons not to discuss marital issues during child custody mediation is that it diverts attention from the children’s needs and interferes with finding practical solutions. Instead of focusing on what each parent can contribute to the children’s upbringing, discussing marital problems can shift the focus towards individual shortcomings. This can lead to unnecessary arguments and a lack of cooperation, ultimately prolonging the mediation process and intensifying tensions between the parents.
Bringing up marital issues can also undermine the trust and open communication necessary for successful mediation. Mediators are trained professionals who seek to maintain objectivity and help parents find common ground.
It may even lead the mediator to question the parents’ ability to prioritize the children’s well-being, potentially resulting in a less favorable outcome for both parties.
By prioritizing the children’s well-being, parents can build a foundation for effective co-parenting and maintain a healthy relationship with their children.
Addressing marital problems separately, through therapy or other appropriate channels, will be more beneficial for both parents involved.
6. Go to Bed Early the Night Before
Mediation can be a stressful and emotionally challenging experience, and a good night’s rest can significantly impact your ability to make sound decisions and effectively communicate your needs and concerns.
Sleep is essential for maintaining optimal cognitive functions and emotional well-being. When we are sleep-deprived, our brain functions are impaired, leading to difficulties in concentration, memory retention, and decision-making. This can be particularly detrimental during custody mediation, where clear thinking and coherent communication are paramount.
Adequate sleep also plays a vital role in managing our emotions. Sleep deprivation can lead to heightened irritability, mood swings, and decreased emotional control.
7. Seek Assistance from Your Attorney
One of the best ways to ensure you are well-prepared for mediation is to consult with an attorney who specializes in mediation. While mediation itself is a less formal process than litigation, having legal counsel by your side can provide invaluable guidance and support throughout the mediation process.
An experienced attorney can help you understand the intricacies of the mediation process and what to expect. They will carefully review your case, the facts, and relevant legal arguments to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Armed with this knowledge, your attorney can strategize and prioritize your objectives, ensuring that your interests are protected during mediation.
Your attorney can help you prepare for the negotiation process. By analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of both sides, an objective assessment can be made to determine what a fair and reasonable resolution may look like. They can also help you identify potential solutions or compromises that might satisfy both parties. With their knowledge and expertise, your attorney can guide you in developing strong arguments and overcoming any challenges that may arise during mediation.
Contact Sacks & Sacks today to schedule a consultation and ensure you are fully prepared for your upcoming mediation session.
FAQs
Q. Who can benefit from mediation during a child custody case?
Mediation allows parents to collaborate, explore creative solutions, and ultimately create a custody arrangement that suits the best interests of their child. Children benefit from mediation as it encourages their parents to work together and prioritize their well-being. Mediation can mitigate the adversarial nature of custody battles, reducing conflict and creating a more positive co-parenting dynamic.
Q. What should I expect during a mediation session?
The mediator, a neutral third party, will guide and facilitate the conversation between you and the other parent. You will have the opportunity to express your concerns, interests, and preferences regarding custody arrangements. The mediator will ensure that both parties have a chance to speak and be heard. The focus will be on finding solutions that prioritize the best interests of the child. The mediator may ask questions, offer suggestions, and help generate options for custody, visitation schedules, or parenting plans.
Q. What happens if we can’t reach an agreement during mediation?
The parties can request additional mediation sessions to continue exploring different options and to address any remaining issues. Another option is to consider alternative dispute resolution methods, such as collaborative law or arbitration, where a neutral professional can evaluate the situation and make recommendations or decisions. If all attempts at reaching an agreement fail, the case may proceed to court, where a judge will make the final determination regarding child custody arrangements.
Sources:
[1] Must-Know Divorce Custody Statistics [Latest Report] • Gitnux. (2023, December 16). GITNUX. https://gitnux.org/divorce-custody-statistics/
[2] Preparing a Parenting Plan for Mediation – Custody X Change. (n.d.). https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/plans/overview/parenting-plan-mediation.php
